BÀI MẪU CHO ĐỀ WRITING NGÀY 16.9.2017

16/9/2017: Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions of this issue?

It is common in many societies that high school graduates are not capable of managing their finance. This is attributable to a lack of money management education at school. However, there are several measures that can be taken to address this issue.

The situation in which young people do not know how to manage their finances can be due to the two following reasons. The first of these is that money management is not frequently included in the school curriculum. This probably stems from the common assumption that schools are places where the young generation are prepared for their future careers. The majority of high-school students, therefore, are solely taught science subjects, which are considered essential for their future prospects, while money management skills are almost ignored. Another reason is that even if the schools teach young people these skills they do not provide them with sufficient hands-on activities that enable them to put what they learn from theory into practice.

Perhaps the solutions to the issue mentioned above can be found mostly in school education. Firstly, the governments should encourage more school institutions to introduce subjects on financial management for students. This course of action would allow a higher number of high-school students to learn how to use their money wisely. On top of that, these subjects should also be supplemented by a variety of practical activities which offer the students opportunities to actually manage their own finance in real life. By means of which, these individuals can acquire greater insights into how to use their money efficiently.

In conclusion, the grounds for high-school graduates not being able to manage their money are no or inadequate education about financial management at school. Nevertheless, this issue can be tackled by having more schools offer money management subjects and a greater chance for the students to gain hands-on experience in managing their money.

312 words – written by NTL-IELTS Lecturer (Writing 8.5)

Examiner’s feedback

Task response: 8

Cohesion and Coherence: 8

Vocabulary: 8-9

Grammar: 8-9

Overall: 8-8.5

I feel confident you would get to at least 8, but there are two things you could have done better to achieve higher scores:

1. A clearer introduction with the last sentence making it clear the essay is about reasons and solutions.
2. Developing idea 2 paragraph 2 more.