BÀI MẪU CHO ĐỀ WRITING NGÀY 5.10.2017

More and more people in the city live in homes with small spaces or no outdoor areas. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

It is increasingly common that urban citizens live in houses with narrow spaces and no outdoor areas. From my perspective, this is a negative development because it can adversely impact these people’s productivity and health.

Firstly, living in small accommodations without outdoor areas can have detrimental effects on people’s work and studies. This stems from the fact that these places can cause one to have no mood for working or studying. As a consequence, people living in narrow spaces with no open areas are at a higher risk of having their work or study efficiency impaired. By way of illustration, working or studying in the open air is believed to lift people’s spirits and enable them to perform more effectively, while those who work in cramped areas are more likely to feel uncomfortable and lose their efficiency.

On top of that, the tendency mentioned above can also have a harmful influence on people’s health. Due to living in narrow spaces without open areas, there are not many activities for these individuals to participate in apart from watching TV and using computers. A consequence of this situation is that people tend to lead a sedentary lifestyle which precedes a variety of health issues. For example, in several parts of the world where houses are small and have no open space, the numbers of citizens who suffer from medical conditions such as obesity or even cardiovascular diseases are higher.

In conclusion, I am convinced that the trend towards people living in narrow homes without outdoor spaces is a negative development. Not only can this tendency adversely affect people’s productivity in work and studies, it can also put them at risk of having illnesses.

281 words

(Written by NTL – IELTS Lecturer – 8.5 Writing)

Examiner’s feedback

Task response: 8 – 9

Cohesion and Coherence: 8

Vocabulary: 8

Grammar: 8 – 9

Overall: 8 – 8.5

Perhaps for the first one about “study and work” you could mention a more general idea first like “negative psychological influence” and then mention how that can influence aspects of life such as work and study.

For the other side you could argue:

1. It prevents urban sprawl and the need for expensive infrastructure.
2. It’s more affordable allowing people to have money for other important purposes such as education for their children.